Where are my hands?
I examine all of the people I have come into contact with. Although some people are taller and some are skinnier than others, the overwhelming majority of the people I have met are anatomically similar. The fixation on where my hands are; therefore, has been quite a fascination to me. Even more strange is the fact that those that are asking inevitably have hands in the exact same place as mine. My current guess is that these people don't know where their own hands are and are asking me because they want to know what hands are. Although I have shown some of them repeatedly, they still don't get it. I'll say it again here, then. Most people have two hands. They are located at the ends of a person's arms. My hands, all two of them, are located at the end of my arms. You have two hands also. They are at the end of your arms.

Where are my feet?
I can see what type of person I'm dealing with if you are actually reading the response to this question. An answer can be found by rereading the first response, substituting "feet" for "hands" and "legs" for "arms". Since that's probably too complicated for you, I've done it for you below.

I examine all of the people I have come into contact with. Although some people are taller and some are skinnier than others, the overwhelming majority of the people I have met are anatomically similar. The fixation on where my feet are; therefore, has been quite a fascination to me. Even more strange is the fact that those that are asking inevitably have feet in the exact same place as mine. My current guess is that these people don't know where their own feet are and are asking me because they want to know what feet are. Although I have shown some of them repeatedly, they still don't get it. I'll say it again here, then. Most people have two feet. They are located at the ends of a person's legs. My feet, all two of them, are located at the end of my legs. You have two feet also. They are at the end of your legs.

Where is your hair?
You may be thinking that I am going to say something sassy and mean about your intellect for not knowing the answer to this question. On the contrary, this is a toughie. For some, the question is a trick question and the answer is "nowhere". I have done correlation studies and I believe most of these people eat their hair (leading to their protuding gut). For others, like a certain person in the pool with me and my Daddy on Saturdays, the answer is "everywhere". For me, however, the answer is on the top of my head.

Where's Max/Where did Max go?

Sigh. 99.999999% of the time, I am:

(a) right where I was before I covered myself with the blanket, towel, scarf or other device that apparently makes me invisible. It is strange that when I cover another object with the aforementioned "invisibility generators", I can still see them, although most of the time other people cannot, leading them to exclaim "Where's Otter Bear?", "Where's Daddy?" or "Where's Mr. Starfish." Although I am a little sad that I am different from everyone else, I am glad that my extra perceptive powers allow me to see beyond the invisibility shields caused by these objects; or

(b) right around the same corner that I have disappeared to the last four times. I have wondered how many times people can amuse themselves with this game, but inevitably, I get tired before they do. I have tested and confirmed, however, that most will continue well past 23 times if permitted.

Do you want to go to bed?
No.

Do you want some _______?
The blank is inevitably some kind of food. Use the handy chart below to see what my response is.

Oatmeal
Lipton Chicken Flavored Rice
French Fries
Soft Pasta
Beech Nut Tabletime Mac and Cheese
Other Mac and Cheese
Baby Food
Weaver Chicken Nuggets
McDonald's Chicken Nuggets
String Cheese


If there are other foods you'd like me to rate, send me an e-mail


Do I know my Mommy loves me?
Yes.

What sound does a duck make?
We imagine that ducks say "quack" just like we imagine that dogs and cats can understand perfect english. In fact, the (human) verbal interpretation of what ducks say is different in different countries, ranging from Portuguese (Qua Qua) to French (Coin Coin) to Turkish (Vak Vak). I always try to determine the ethnicity of the person asking me so that I can respond in a manner familiar to them. Of great help to me in this effort has been the Website of Animal Sounds.

What is my favorite color?
Orange.

What is my favorite toy?
My favorite toy is the bottom half of Tomy's Ball Party Bounce. I also sometimes like to take the bounce platform off as well.